so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father