FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.