You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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