sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize