My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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