i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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