I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
