i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
