C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
