I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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