cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
