Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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