I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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