I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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