Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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