She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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