I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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