3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need