Its about making memories worth repressing
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"