i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.