you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.