about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.