Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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