ya dads aren't the best wingmen
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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