I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
