You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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