so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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