and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
