did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize