how can u be prego again
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
