Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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