Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
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