I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
this just has baby written all over it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
