im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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