Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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