I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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