in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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