Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos