I think I am morally bankrupt
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha