seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"