why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
are you so shy because you have an std?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight