third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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