I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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