Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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