she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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