all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
