i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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