Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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