I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
