so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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