okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
where are you?
Hypothermia
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize