dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
