My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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