Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
