ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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