i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize