I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize