And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
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i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
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I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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