Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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